Context: The cure By Issa Islam (Present) The blazing hot sun of the Sahara shone on my blistering red arms as I stumbled along the steep sand dune. A Few weeks ago, just like my parents, I had been diagnosed with tuberculoid leprosy. An Armadillo Girdled Lizard, A peculiar specimen, one of the only lizards on the planet that can roll up into a ball by placing its tail into its mouth, scurried in front of me and burrowed into the sand. The sweat from my forehead seeped into the lesions on my face, stinging and creating a bloody mess. I paused right before the peak of the dune, putting my parched lips on the cool surface of the metal bottle that hung from my belt and drinking what little water remained therein. It was not enough to satisfy my thirst. 9 months ago, my dear friend Sir William Montgomery had uncovered an artefact from the tomb of Hekashepes, with symbols directing me to this exact location. "In sands of knowledge, a new jewel gleams, forged from science's dream.", I read it over and over, that was the only decipherable line in the scroll. I continued up the dune, and reaching its peak, I looked into the distance only for my eye to catch the glimmer of what looked like water, about 200 metres away in the valley of another dune. But was it really water? The heat of the Saharan sun and the hopelessness of my journey burnt into my back, and the weight of the baggage I was lugging with me made gravity feel like it was ten times stronger in this part of the world. I trudged slowly down the slope of the dune holding the withering scroll in my hands – was it a mirage? A mirage that sensed my tongue was drier than the desert I was in? Descending towards the oasis, I shed the weight of doubt and dipped my head into the cool, azure substance. It was no ordinary water; its metallic touch soothed my parched throat and invigorated my weary body. I ran my wet fingers across the ridges and valleys on my face. I rolled the rest of my hot and aching body into the blue liquid and closed my eyes as I resigned myself to what surrounded me, letting it swallow me whole. Subconsciously I tried breathing, the liquid rushed into my lungs like a tsunami. My chest felt like it was about to explode from the pressure. I extended my hand aimlessly in hopes of grabbing onto a loose tree branch to pull myself up. This was it. I was going to die. I frantically wriggled around in the liquid. Sunlight. I slowly struggled to pull myself up until only my waist downwards was submerged in the liquid. It had a smooth texture like water, but was holding onto me like quicksand. My head spinning, I crawled onto the grainy floor of the desert. Grains of sand filled the moist lesions all over my body. A painful groan escaped my throat as the sky came crashing down onto me. Darkness. (3100 BCE) The coolness of the marble tiles clashed with Aqer's burning bare feet as he entered the opulent eating chamber. Years of serving sumptuous feasts had left him with a hunched back, a target for cruel taunts from the children in the streets. Approaching the ailing Son of Ra, Hekashepes, Aqer couldn't ignore the festering lesions and cuts that marred the Pharaoh's once regal form. It was said that the Great Sekhmet, god of diseases and healing, had cursed him. Kneeling before the Pharaoh, Aqer placed a platter of assorted meats before him, whispering, "Enjoy your meal, your highness." Rumours of the Pharaoh's impending demise had spread like wildfire through the city. Seeking respite from the scorching sun, Aqer sat beneath the shade of a fig tree, his gaze drawn to a lone figure approaching on a magnificent steed. Clad in white robes, the stranger exuded an air of mystery and purpose. Aqer's curiosity piqued, he rose with trembling hands and followed the stranger to the Pharaoh's chamber. Standing discreetly behind the gilded doors, Aqer listened intently as the stranger presented a cure to the ailing Pharaoh. "Your highness, we have found a remedy for your affliction," the man declared. The Pharaoh's command was swift, demanding the cure be administered without delay. With a leather pouch and a freshly inscribed scroll in hand, the stranger revealed the cryptic message: "In sands of knowledge, a new jewel gleams, forged from science's dream." As the Vizier applied the mysterious medicine to the Pharaoh's lesions, a gut-wrenching scream pierced the chamber, echoing the agony of a kingdom in turmoil. Foam frothed from the Pharaoh's lips, his body convulsing in a final, desperate struggle. In the silence that followed, the stranger stood before the fallen ruler, his gaze unwavering. The new Pharoah. Write a 400 word reflection relating it to Young writers contemporary voice in first person relating it to Catherine Coles "Home" and young writers contemporary voices, whilst also following this structure: Introduction → Synopsis, what was your intention Para 2 → Success of your work Para 3 → Unsuccessful parts of my work Para 4 → After completing this task i realised the theme was very difficult and the context in which i wrote pushed me over my boundaries, Language forms from your prescribed text. “I was successful in using a metaphor (insert metaphor), leading to…” Conclusion → Overall feeling and statement on what you took out from this task. Overall this task allowed me to become a more empowering writer...
Question
Context: The cure By Issa Islam (Present) The blazing hot sun of the Sahara shone on my blistering red arms as I stumbled along the steep sand dune. A Few weeks ago, just like my parents, I had been diagnosed with tuberculoid leprosy. An Armadillo Girdled Lizard, A peculiar specimen, one of the only lizards on the planet that can roll up into a ball by placing its tail into its mouth, scurried in front of me and burrowed into the sand. The sweat from my forehead seeped into the lesions on my face, stinging and creating a bloody mess. I paused right before the peak of the dune, putting my parched lips on the cool surface of the metal bottle that hung from my belt and drinking what little water remained therein. It was not enough to satisfy my thirst. 9 months ago, my dear friend Sir William Montgomery had uncovered an artefact from the tomb of Hekashepes, with symbols directing me to this exact location. "In sands of knowledge, a new jewel gleams, forged from science's dream.", I read it over and over, that was the only decipherable line in the scroll. I continued up the dune, and reaching its peak, I looked into the distance only for my eye to catch the glimmer of what looked like water, about 200 metres away in the valley of another dune. But was it really water? The heat of the Saharan sun and the hopelessness of my journey burnt into my back, and the weight of the baggage I was lugging with me made gravity feel like it was ten times stronger in this part of the world. I trudged slowly down the slope of the dune holding the withering scroll in my hands – was it a mirage? A mirage that sensed my tongue was drier than the desert I was in? Descending towards the oasis, I shed the weight of doubt and dipped my head into the cool, azure substance. It was no ordinary water; its metallic touch soothed my parched throat and invigorated my weary body. I ran my wet fingers across the ridges and valleys on my face. I rolled the rest of my hot and aching body into the blue liquid and closed my eyes as I resigned myself to what surrounded me, letting it swallow me whole. Subconsciously I tried breathing, the liquid rushed into my lungs like a tsunami. My chest felt like it was about to explode from the pressure. I extended my hand aimlessly in hopes of grabbing onto a loose tree branch to pull myself up. This was it. I was going to die. I frantically wriggled around in the liquid. Sunlight. I slowly struggled to pull myself up until only my waist downwards was submerged in the liquid. It had a smooth texture like water, but was holding onto me like quicksand. My head spinning, I crawled onto the grainy floor of the desert. Grains of sand filled the moist lesions all over my body. A painful groan escaped my throat as the sky came crashing down onto me. Darkness. (3100 BCE) The coolness of the marble tiles clashed with Aqer's burning bare feet as he entered the opulent eating chamber. Years of serving sumptuous feasts had left him with a hunched back, a target for cruel taunts from the children in the streets. Approaching the ailing Son of Ra, Hekashepes, Aqer couldn't ignore the festering lesions and cuts that marred the Pharaoh's once regal form. It was said that the Great Sekhmet, god of diseases and healing, had cursed him. Kneeling before the Pharaoh, Aqer placed a platter of assorted meats before him, whispering, "Enjoy your meal, your highness." Rumours of the Pharaoh's impending demise had spread like wildfire through the city. Seeking respite from the scorching sun, Aqer sat beneath the shade of a fig tree, his gaze drawn to a lone figure approaching on a magnificent steed. Clad in white robes, the stranger exuded an air of mystery and purpose. Aqer's curiosity piqued, he rose with trembling hands and followed the stranger to the Pharaoh's chamber. Standing discreetly behind the gilded doors, Aqer listened intently as the stranger presented a cure to the ailing Pharaoh. "Your highness, we have found a remedy for your affliction," the man declared. The Pharaoh's command was swift, demanding the cure be administered without delay. With a leather pouch and a freshly inscribed scroll in hand, the stranger revealed the cryptic message: "In sands of knowledge, a new jewel gleams, forged from science's dream." As the Vizier applied the mysterious medicine to the Pharaoh's lesions, a gut-wrenching scream pierced the chamber, echoing the agony of a kingdom in turmoil. Foam frothed from the Pharaoh's lips, his body convulsing in a final, desperate struggle. In the silence that followed, the stranger stood before the fallen ruler, his gaze unwavering. The new Pharoah. Write a 400 word reflection relating it to Young writers contemporary voice in first person relating it to Catherine Coles "Home" and young writers contemporary voices, whilst also following this structure: Introduction → Synopsis, what was your intention Para 2 → Success of your work Para 3 → Unsuccessful parts of my work Para 4 → After completing this task i realised the theme was very difficult and the context in which i wrote pushed me over my boundaries, Language forms from your prescribed text. “I was successful in using a metaphor (insert metaphor), leading to…” Conclusion → Overall feeling and statement on what you took out from this task. Overall this task allowed me to become a more empowering writer...
Solution
Introduction: In crafting "The Cure," my intention was to weave a narrative that juxtaposes the harsh realities of a present-day struggle with a historical quest for healing. Inspired by Catherine Coles' "Home" and the contemporary voices of young writers, I aimed to explore themes of perseverance, suffering, and the relentless pursuit of hope. The story's dual timelines were designed to create a rich tapestry of human experience, connecting the past and present through a shared quest for a cure.
Para 2: The success of my work lies in its vivid imagery and emotional depth. By describing the protagonist's physical and emotional torment in the Sahara, I was able to evoke a strong sense of empathy in the reader. The use of detailed descriptions, such as the "blistering red arms" and the "metallic touch" of the oasis water, helped to create a visceral experience. Additionally, the historical narrative of Aqer and the Pharaoh added a layer of intrigue and mystery, drawing readers into the ancient world and its struggles.
Para 3: However, there were parts of my work that were less successful. The transition between the two timelines could have been smoother, as some readers might find the abrupt shift jarring. Additionally, the character development of Aqer and the stranger could have been more fleshed out to provide a deeper understanding of their motivations and emotions. The cryptic message, while intriguing, may have been too ambiguous, leaving readers with unanswered questions about its true meaning and significance.
Para 4: After completing this task, I realized that the theme of seeking a cure was more complex than I initially anticipated. The context in which I wrote pushed me beyond my comfort zone, challenging me to think critically about the connections between past and present. I was successful in using a metaphor, such as "the weight of the baggage I was lugging with me made gravity feel like it was ten times stronger," leading to a deeper understanding of the protagonist's emotional burden. This metaphor not only illustrated the physical struggle but also symbolized the emotional weight of his journey.
Conclusion: Overall, this task allowed me to grow as a writer by pushing me to explore new themes and narrative structures. It taught me the importance of balancing detailed descriptions with smooth transitions and well-developed characters. By reflecting on my work and its connection to contemporary voices like Catherine Coles, I gained a greater appreciation for the power of storytelling in conveying complex human experiences. This exercise has empowered me to continue honing my craft and to embrace the challenges that come with writing meaningful and impactful narratives.
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